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The family in general and the wife in particular is a precious trust and great responsibility that a Muslim must shoulder and never neglect. In this matter, just like in all others, the Prophet, ﷺ, is an example for all husbands in the way he treated and nurtured his wives. The Prophet, , encouraged people to nurture their families; he, , said: “Allaah will ask every person about those under his guardianship. (He will ask) whether he protected and preserved them, or squandered them; (this is) the extent to which He will ask man about his family members.”


What did the Prophet, , do with regard to nurturing his wives? How did he, , educate them, enjoin them to do good and forbid them from doing evil? What was his manner and method in talking to them and being kind to them? These questions are answered in the following article which will be beneficial for all.


Table of Contents


Teaching his wives on faith

The Prophet, , would teach his wives matters pertaining to faith and creed and expound to them the oneness of Allaah. The matters of Aqeedah are the utmost importance in a muslims life. The Almighty and His greatness. He, , would explain the Names and Attributes of Allaah to them, as well as matters related to the Hereafter. Once he, , was talking to ‘Aa’ishah, mayAllaah be pleased with her, about accountability in the Hereafter and said: “He who is questioned will be punished.” `Aa’ishah, mayAllaah be pleased with her, then asked, “Does Allaah not say (what means): {Then as for he who is given his record in his right hand. He will be judged with an easy account}[Quran Surah Inshiqaq 84 :7-8] He clarified and this, saying:“This does not mean holding people to account. Rather, it refers to merely presenting to them their records, but the one who will be questioned will certainly be punished.”


Teaching his wives on supplications

The Prophet, , would teach his wives supplications (DUA) and the mention of Allaah The Almighty:The Prophet, , also taught his wives designated mentions of Allaah The Almighty, such as how to seek refuge in Allaah The Almighty from evil, etc. Once, he, , saw the moon and said to ‘Aa’ishah, mayAllaah be pleased with her: “O ‘Aa’ishah! Seek refuge in Allaah from the evil of this, as it is (what is referred to by) 'The evil of darkness when it settles.'(Tirmidhi :Vol. 6, Book 44, Hadith 3366 / Book 47, Hadith 3692)(referring to Quran: 113: 3]).”He, , was pointing to the moon, as it is an indicator of the approach of evening, during which many evils can take place.


Teaching his wives on fear of Allah

The Prophet, , would teach his wives to fear Allaah The Almighty:The Prophet, , would run back and forth, in and out of his house, whenever he felt the wind and saw the clouds forming, and signs of disturbance would appear on his face. Once ‘Aa’ishah, mayAllaah be pleased with her, said to him when he did so, “People rejoice upon seeing the wind (and clouds) while I see you do what you do (i.e., become disturbed).” He, ,responded: “O ‘Aa’ishah! What assurance do I have that it will not be one of punishment? Allaah has punished earlier nations with the wind; when these people felt the wind (and saw) the clouds approaching, they said, 'This is a cloud bringing us rain!’”Thus, a Muslim must always fear AllaahThe Almighty and His punishment. Sahih al-Bukhari 6537 ( Vol. 8, Book 81, Hadith 126)


Teaching his wives on voluntary acts of worship

The Prophet, , would make his wives accustomed to worship:The Prophet, , would train his wives to wake up at night to perform the voluntary night prayers, by waking them up himself. Moreover, his teaching was not limited to prayer, as he, , instructed ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, to spend in charity, saying: “Do not hoard, otherwise, Allaah will withhold from you. (Sahih al-Bukhari 1433 / Vol. 2, Book 24, Hadith 513) He, , thereby taught her not to restrict her spending in charity and to be extremely generous. This shows how keen he, , was to instruct his wives in recommended matters and not just regarding mandatory matters or prohibitions.


Teaching his wives to guard their tongues

Due to the numerous harms of the tongue, the Muslim husband should instruct his wife and teach her how to guard her tongue and use it appropriately. Two of the most destructive diseases of the tongue which a husband should be especially wary of are backbiting and tale-bearing. The Prophet, was very keen to protect his wives from any such diseases and would immediately correct them and instruct them in this regard.‘Aa’ishah said, “I said to the Prophet ‘Such and such a matter of Safiyyah is sufficient for you (meaning that she was a woman of short stature).’ He said: ‘You have uttered a statement that would pollute the (entire) sea if it were mixed in it.’” Tirmidhi: Vol. 4, Book 11, Hadith 2502 ( Arabic Ref : Book 37, Hadith 2690 )


Narrated by Aisha (R), “I imitated a man before him (out of disgrace). He said: I do not like that I imitate anyone even if I should get such and such.” Classed as sahih by sheikh Albani in Sunan Abi Dawud 4875


Teaching his wives to control their tongues

The Prophet, , would teach his wives to control their tongues, even with their enemies:`Aa’ishah said, “A group of non-believers once came to the Messenger of Allaah and said, ‘As-Saam 'Alayk (i.e. death (be) upon you).’ He responded, saying: ‘Wa 'Alaykum (i.e. and upon you).’” `Aa’ishah said, “I said, ‘Death be upon you, and the curse of Allaah and His wrath!' He said: ‘O `Aa’ishah! Do not use coarse language.’”Aa’ishah said, “O Messenger of Allaah! Did you not hear what they said?” He, , said: ‘Did you not hear me replying to them with the same term? Allaah does not like the use of coarse language.’ Sahih al-Bukhari 2935 ( Vol. 4, Book 56, Hadith 148)


In spite of the fact that those disbelievers were his enemies, the Prophet, , limited his retaliation to the extent to which he was wronged and did not transgress, otherwise, people would become accustomed to using strong language with one another.


Teaching his wives to dealt with jealousy

How the Prophet, dealt with jealousy: Jealousy is a natural feeling in women, and the Prophet, dealt with this in a manner that reflected his wisdom and tolerance. Anas reported, “Once the Prophet was in the room of ‘Aa’ishah, mayAllaah be pleased her, when another of his wives sent him a plate of food. This enraged ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased her, who became jealous due to the fact that the food was sent while it was her turn to be with the Prophet . She, mayAllaah be pleased her, therefore took hold of the plate and threw it, smashing it to pieces. The Prophet then gathered the food and the broken pieces of the plate and said (jokingly): ‘Your mother (i.e. the Mother of the believers) has become jealous.’Then she regretted what she had done and asked him how to expiate for the mistake, so he commanded her to replace the broken plate by sending one of her own to the wife whose plate she had broken.” Sahih al-Bukhari 2481 ( Vol. 3, Book 46, Hadith 42)


Prophet on limited entertainment

The Prophet, would entertain his wives: `A’isha said, “Once I went out with the Messenger of Allah on a journey and after we had travelled for some time, he commanded his Companions to go ahead and leave us behind them. When they were far enough ahead he said to me: ‘Let us race. ‘So we raced, and I won. A few years later, and after I had put on some weight, he took me along on another journey, and after we had travelled for some time, he commanded his Companions to go ahead and leave us behind them. When they were far enough ahead he said to me: ‘Let us race.’We raced and this time he won, so he said to me:‘This one for that one.’” SunanAbiDawud 2578 ( Book 14, Hadith 2572 / Book 15, Hadith 102) and Ibn Majah: Vol. 3, Book 9, Hadith 1979 ( Book 9, Hadith 2055)


Narrated `Aisha: I used to play with the dolls in the presence of the prophet, and my girlfriends also used to play with me. When Allah’s apostle used to enter (my dwelling place) they used to hide themselves, but the prophet would call them to join and play with me. Sahih Bukhari, Vol. 8, book 73, hadith 151

A’isha reported that she used to play with dolls in the presence of Allah’s messenger (may peace be upon him) and when her playmates came to her they left (the house) because they felt shy of Allah’s messenger (may peace be upon him), whereas Allah’s messenger (may peace be upon him) sent them to her. Sahih Muslim Book 31, Hadith 5981


Teaching his wives on dealing justly

The Prophet, would teach his wives to deal fairly and justly: The Prophet, set a practical example in this issue, just he did in all the other values that he encouraged. This is demonstrated by his justice between his wives. Whenever he, intended to go out on a journey, he, would draw lots between them to see who among them would accompany him on the trip. This was narrated by his wife `A’isha. (Sahih al-Bukhari 2661 / Vol. 3, Book 48, Hadith 829). Prophet was extremely cautious about his time for different wifes.Aishah narrated that the Prophet would divide (his time) equally between his wives and said: "O Allah! This is my division in what I have control over, so do not punish me for what you have control over which I do not have control over."Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1140 (Vol. 2, Book 6, Hadith 1140)


His, dealing with them justly would certainly have been a more influential in instilling the quality of justice in them.


Prophet on treating wives

His, good conduct with his wives: Allaah The Almighty instructs us to treat women kindly when He Says (what means):{…and live with them in kindness...}[Quran 4: 19]The meaning of this ayath is, talk to them with kind words, treat them gently and beautify yourselves to them according to your ability, just as you would like them to do for you. In conformance with this, the Prophet, said: “The best amongst you are those who treat their wives the best, and indeed, I am the best amongst you in treating my wives. Tirmidhi: Vol. 1, Book 7, Hadith 1162


Thus, the Prophet, treated his wives kindly and gently. He, was always smiling at them, joking with them, spending on them generously and entertaining them. 


He, would meet all his wives every night in the apartment of the one with whom he would spend that night. He would eat dinner with them all at the same time, and then each of them would go back to her apartment. He used to return home after the ‘Ishaa` prayer and conayath with his wife before going to sleep. 


Prophet honoring women by taking suggestion

The Prophet, would consult his wives: When the Prophet, signed a peace treaty with the Quraysh and he agreed not to continue his trip to perform the pilgrimage, he, commanded his Companions to slaughter the sacrificial animals they had brought with them. The Companions were in a state of shock and were saddened by the fact that they were being prevented from performing their act of worship. Therefore, when he, commanded them, they did not reply, nor did they move. He, , entered the tent of his wife Umm Salamah informed her of the reaction of his Companions and consulted her as to what to do. Umm Salamah said, “Go out and do not talk to anyone and slaughter your sacrificial animal and call the barber and shave your head.” No sooner had he done as she suggested than the Companions got up and followed his, example. [Ahmad]


Prophet’s gentleness towards wives

His, gentleness with his wives: Safiyyah narrated, “The Prophet went out to perform Hajj and took his wives along on the trip. After traveling a part of the journey, my camel knelt down and I was the most exhausted of them all (the wives) so I started crying. The Prophet came to me and wiped my tears with his garment.”[Ahmad]


Prophet Giving Presents and Showing Affection to His Wife’s Friends

Aishah narrated: “I was not jealous of any wife of the Prophet as I was jealous of Khadijah, and it was not because I saw her. It was only because the Messenger of Allah mentioned her so much, and because whenever he would slaughter a sheep, he would look for Khadijah’s friends to gift them some of it.” SunanTirmidhi Vol. 4, Book 1, Hadith 2017


Narrated `Aisha: I did not feel jealous of any of the wives of the Prophet as much as I did of Khadija (although) she died before he married me, for I often heard him mentioning her, and Allah had told him to give her the good tidings that she would have a palace of Qasab (i.e. Pipes of precious stones and pearls in Paradise), and whenever he slaughtered a sheep, he would send her women-friends a good share of it. Sahih Bukhari Vol. 5, Book 58, Hadith 164 and Sahih Bukhari : Vol. 8, Book 73, Hadith 33


Prophet Helping His wife’s  In Household Duties

Narrated al-aswad bin yazid: I asked `aisha “what did the prophet use to do at home?” She said, “he used to work for his family, and when he heard the adhan (call for the prayer), he would go out.” Sahih bukhari Vol. 7, book 64, hadith 276


Narrated al-aswad: That he asked `aisha “what did the prophet use to do in his house?” She replied, “he used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was the time for prayer he would go for it.” Sahih bukhari vol. 1, book 11, hadith 644, Sahih Bukhari :vol. 8, book 73 and hadith 65


Amra reported that ‘Aisha was asked, “What did the messenger of allah, may allah bless him and grant him peace, do in his house?” She replied, “He was a man like other men. He removed the fleas from his garment and milked his sheep.” Adabul-mufrad Book 1, Hadith 4


Narrated Aisha(R): Allah’s messenger (peace be upon him) used to patch his sandals, sew his garment and conducthimself at home as anyone of you does in his house. He was a human being, searching his garment for lice, milking his sheep, and doing his own chores. SunanTirmidhi :Hadith 5822




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