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FAMILY IN ISLAM


a. A fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children.

 

b. Two or more people who share goals and values, have long-term commitments to one another, and reside usually in the same dwelling place.

The family, which is the basic unit of civilization, is now disintegrating.  Islam’s family system brings the rights of the husband, wife, children, and relatives into a fine equilibrium. 

 

Table of Contents

 

Importance

Family is a unit in which a person builds up his/ her personality. What we grow up to be or what is our mental psychology or how serious we are in matters of Deen (way of life), all these have one common base, and that is, the family! Family helps in an overall development of an individual. Keeping in view, all these facts, the importance of family cannot be denied or overlooked and that is the reason why Islam has given utmost importance to family and family-life.

 

Qur’anic Reflections

It is stated in the Qur'an:"And we have enjoined upon man (to be good) to his parents. With difficulty upon difficulty did his mother bear him and wean him for two years. Show gratitude to Me and to your parents; to Me is your final destination." (Qur’an.Surah Luqman 31:14)

 

“And We have enjoined on man the doing of good to his parents. His mother bears him with trouble and brings him forth in pain. And the bearing of him and the weaning of him is thirty months. Till when he attains his maturity and reaches forty years, he says; My Lord, grant me that I may give thanks for your favour, which you has bestowed on me, and on my parents, and that I may do good which pleases Thee; and be good to me in respect of my offspring. Truly I turn to you, and truly I am of those who submit” (Qur’an.Surah Ahqaf 46:15).

 

Prophet Muhammad- the Best Example

Prophet Muhammad (May Allah honour Him and grant Him peace) also stressed on the subject when he said: Narrated by Narrated by Aisha ®“The best among you are those who are best to their families and I am the best of you to my family.”Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3252.

 

Narrated by Abu Huraira®:"A man named Al-Aqra ibn Habis® paid a visit to the Prophet Muhammad (May Allah honour Him and Grant Him peace) and was surprised to see him playing with and kissing his two grandsons, Hassan and Hussain (May Allah be pleased with them). Al-Aqra® asked the Prophet: ‘Do you kiss your children?’ He then related that he had ten children and had never kissed even one of them. The Prophet replied: ‘That shows you have no mercy and tenderness at all. Those who do not show mercy to others will not have Allah’s mercy shown on them’" Sahih Al Bukhari Vol 8:26.

 

A hadith by Abu Dawood says: Narrated by Abu Huraira®:"Someone asked the Prophet Muhammad (May Allah honour Him and Grant Him peace) to whom he should show kindness. The prophet Muhammad (May Allah honour Him and Grant Him peace) replied, ‘Your mother.’ The man asked who came next, and the Prophet Muhammad (May Allah honour Him and Grant Him peace) replied again, ‘Your mother.’ Again, the question was asked and the same reply was given. He again asked who came next and then the reply was, ‘Your father, then your relatives in order of relationship.’" Sahih Al Bukhari Vol 8:2 or 5626 (NE)

 

Narrated by Abu Hurayrah®, The Prophet (May Allah honour Him and Grant Him peace)  said: ‘Among the Muslims the most perfect, as regards his faith, is the one whose character is excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well.’ At-Tirmidhi 628

 

Narrated by ‘Aa’ishah(R) said: the Messenger of Allaah (May Allah honour Him and Grant Him peace) said: “The best of you are those who are best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.” classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi, 3895

 

Islam honours women as daughters. It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri that the Messenger of Allaah (May Allah honour Him and Grant Him peace) said: “Whoever has three daughters or three sisters, or two daughters or two sisters, and takes good care of them and fears Allaah with regard to them, will enter Paradise.” Ibn Hibbaan in his Saheeh, 2/190

 

Narrated by ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar heard the Messenger of Allaah (May Allah honour Him and Grant Him peace) say, “Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The man is the shepherd of his family and he is responsible for his flock. The woman is the shepherd of her husband’s household and is responsible for her flock. The servant is a shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for his flock.” He said, I heard this from the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Sahih al-Bukhari 853 and Sahih Muslim 1829

 

Moral

In Islam, there are three factors which binds the family together:

1. Kinship or blood ties

2. Marital commitments

3. Faith

 

Kinship or blood relationships are the strongest natural ties. There is no substitute for a mother’s love for her child, and in return, a child’s devotion and gratitude to loving and caring parents. It is precisely because of the importance and strength of these relationships that the Prophet Muhammad (May Allah honour Him and grant Him peace) said: Narrated by Jubair bin Mut'im®: "The person who severs or breaks the bond of kinship will not enter Paradise."Sahih Al Bukhari Vol 8: 13.

 

He also went on to say: Narrated 'Aisha®: "The tie of kinship (rahm) is suspended from the throne of Allah, and says, `Whoever supports me, Allah will support him, and whoever cuts me off, Allah will cut him off.'" Sahih Al BukhariVol 8:18, Riyadh al-Salihin, 191.

 

Narrated Abu Huraira®: I heard Allah's Apostle (May Allah honour Him and grant Him peace)  saying, "Whoever is pleased that he be granted more wealth and that his lease of life be pro longed, then he should keep good relations with his Kith and kin." Sahih Al BukhariVol 8: 14.

 

Prophet Muhammad (May Allah honour Him and grant Him peace) said: “Whoever would like his rizq (provision) to be increased and his life to be extended, should uphold the ties of kinship.” Sahih Al Bukhari 5986 and Muslim 2557.

 

Marital commitments also keep the family together, for Islam recognizes no more wholesome framework for sexual relations and the fostering and nurturing of children than in a lawful marriage. Private consent to sexual intimacy, common-law associations or living together, and trial marriages or temporary unions, do not constitute a family in the Islamic sense.

 

Faith is the third factor in maintaining strong family ties; that is, full commitment to Islam. If all members of a family are Muslims, there is more likely to be greater harmony, and common interest and good, than if family members go their separate ways, and have different faiths.

The family is the keystone of society, contentment and prosperity and these three factors can only be achieved if parents and children are committed to the guidance of Qur’an.

 

Conclusion

Islam gives fathers and mothers a great deal of responsibility for raising their children. It was narrated that ‘Abdullah ibn Umar® heard the Messenger of Allah (May Allah honour Him and grant Him peace)say, “Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The man is the shepherd of his family and he is responsible for his flock. The woman is the shepherd of her husband’s household and is responsible for her flock. The servant is a shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for his flock.” He said, I heard this from the Messenger of Allah (May Allah honour Him and grant Him peace). Sahih Al Bukhari 853 and Sahih Al Muslim 1829 

 

Islam protects the honour, chastity, purity and lineage of the family, so it encourages marriage and forbids free mixing of men and women. Islam gives each family member an important role to play. So fathers and mothers take care of the children and give them an Islamic upbringing; children are to listen and obey, and respect the rights of fathers and mothers, on a basis of love and respect. Even our enemies have borne witness to the strength of family ties among the Muslims.

 

References

http://islamqa.info/en/ref/10001

 

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